Laetitia F., director of a Montessori school in the Île-de-France region, meets every year with families worried about their first child. While each story is unique, the concerns often share striking similarities, sparking her curiosity to explore the issue further.
For the past eight years at her Montessori school in Vincennes, Laetitia F. has consistently heard new parents voice the same worries: “My child refuses to attend school,” “It feels like he isn’t learning anything,” or “He’s constantly irritable.” Intrigued by these recurring patterns, she launched a survey involving educators, parents, and child development specialists to uncover why these challenges frequently arise among first-time children.
When autonomy becomes a source of anxiety
For some families, sending their first child to a Montessori school feels like stepping into the unknown. The Montessori approach, which emphasizes autonomy and self-discipline, can sometimes clash with the routines children are used to at home, leading to emotional stress.
“From the very first two weeks, my eldest son refused to participate in activities. He stayed alone, lost in the classroom,” recalls Claire D., mother of a 4-year-old. “We wanted him to be independent, but we realized we had been helping him too much until then.”
A 2023 internal study by the French Montessori Association found that 62% of children who had no prior group experience faced adjustment difficulties during the first three months at school, with first-born children showing a notably higher incidence.
Incorrectly dosed stimulation in hypersensitive children
Montessori classrooms, with their prepared, structured, and stimulating environments, can feel overwhelming for certain children. While this richness benefits most, it can become a barrier for highly sensitive students.
“My daughter cried every morning for six weeks,” shares Emma R., whose daughter now receives support from a psychologist for sensory hypersensitivity. “Too many objects, too many children, too many interactions. Even the carefully planned silence and slow movements weren’t enough to comfort her.”
Developmental psychologist Elsa Durand notes that nearly 15% of children observed in Montessori preschools from 2022 to 2024 displayed signs of sensory overload, with the rate rising to 24% for older children, who often struggle more due to later socialization and increased isolation.
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The lack of traditional educational benchmarks
Parents familiar with traditional education systems often look for visible signs of progress—reading, writing, and math skills. Montessori’s focus on hands-on learning and the child’s natural rhythm can make achievements less obvious, creating anxiety for first-time parents.
“At three, he could do multiplication tables, but by five, he refused activities entirely,” says Michel B., father of a boy enrolled in Montessori since TPS. “He felt useless because he couldn’t read like his cousins.”
A 2024 report by the Early Childhood Observatory found that 31% of children from first-time parents struggle academically when parental expectations are overly directive, sometimes resulting in refusal, frustration, or quiet disengagement from learning.
Agitation, isolation and conflict: signs to recognize
Laetitia F. also notes that some behavioral issues arise in Montessori classrooms. Certain classes occasionally experience aggressive interactions or prolonged social withdrawal among students.
An internal monitoring report conducted between 2022 and 2025 across five Montessori schools in Île-de-France documented multiple cases specifically involving first-born children.
| Age | Main symptom | Time to appear | Observed duration |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 years | Tantrums upon arrival | 5 days | 2 months |
| 4 years | Excessive agitation / biting | 2 weeks | 3 months |
| 5 years | Voluntary isolation, refusal of activities | 1 month | variable |
A reality that is not very visible in the following siblings
Children with older siblings in Montessori schools often adjust more smoothly. “When my second child started class, he had already seen the Montessori materials in action with his older sister. He knew the rules. Why didn’t the older one learn them as quickly? Because she was a pioneer, quite simply,” explains Léa T., mother of three.
Teachers confirm this observation, noting that younger children benefit from observing and imitating their older siblings, allowing them to integrate the Montessori environment’s routines and principles more quickly.
Possible adjustments, but vigilance necessary
Some Montessori schools are now implementing more gradual and supportive approaches for first-time children:
- Enhanced parent-educator interviews before classroom entry
- Extended observation periods for newcomers
- Refined sensory spaces to accommodate sensitivities
- Ongoing educator training in managing sensory and emotional challenges
These strategies help significantly reduce adjustment difficulties during the first six months. As Laetitia F. explains, “The moment of truth comes after one trimester. It’s not that first children are struggling—they simply don’t have a precedent. It’s our role to build that foundation with them.”
FAQ’s
What common challenges do first-time parents face in Montessori schools?
First-time parents often worry about their child’s emotional adjustment, independence, and academic progress, as Montessori emphasizes autonomy and self-paced learning.
Why do some first-born children struggle more in Montessori classrooms?
First-born children often lack prior exposure to group learning and social routines, making the transition to a structured yet autonomous environment more challenging.
How does sensory overload affect first-time Montessori students?
Montessori classrooms are rich in stimuli. Highly sensitive children may experience stress, tears, or withdrawal when adapting to multiple materials, interactions, and sounds.
How do younger siblings adapt differently from first-borns?
Younger children often adjust faster because they observe and imitate older siblings, learning classroom routines and autonomy skills more quickly.
How do Montessori schools support children struggling with the transition?
Many schools offer extended observation periods, parent-educator interviews, sensory spaces, and teacher training to ease emotional and behavioral adjustment.
Is it normal for first-time Montessori children to refuse activities?
Yes. Some children may initially resist learning tasks or social interactions due to unfamiliarity with Montessori methods, but most adapt with time and support.
How long does it take for first children to adjust to Montessori classrooms?
Adjustment typically occurs within the first trimester, though it varies depending on the child’s personality, prior experience, and home support.
Conclusion
Transitioning a first child into a Montessori school can be both exciting and challenging. Common concerns—ranging from emotional adjustment and behavioral issues to sensory overload and academic expectations—are shared by many parents. As Laetitia F., director of a Montessori school in Île-de-France, observes, these challenges often arise because first-born children are pioneers, navigating an environment without precedents.
