Laetitia F., director of a Montessori school in the Île-de-France region, meets families every year who are concerned about their first child. While each story is unique, the issues often share common themes. This recurring pattern inspired a deeper investigation.
For the past eight years, Laetitia F., leading a Montessori school in Vincennes, has noticed that new parents frequently raise the same concerns: “My child refuses to go to school,” “He doesn’t seem to be learning anything,” or “He’s constantly frustrated or angry.” Curious about this consistent pattern, I conducted a comprehensive survey involving educators, parents, and child development specialists to uncover why these challenges are especially prevalent among first-born children.
When autonomy becomes a source of anxiety
For many families, enrolling their first child in a Montessori school feels like stepping into the unknown. The Montessori method, which emphasizes autonomy, self-discipline, and independent learning, can sometimes clash with routines children are familiar with at home, leading to emotional stress and imbalance.
“From the first two weeks, my eldest son refused to participate in any activity. He stayed alone, lost in the classroom,” shares Claire D., mother of a 4-year-old. “We wanted him to be independent, but we realized we had been helping him too much until then.”
A 2023 internal study by the French Montessori Association found that 62% of children without prior group experience faced adjustment difficulties during their first three months at school, with first-born children showing a higher incidence of these challenges.
Incorrectly dosed stimulation in hypersensitive children
The rich, structured, and carefully prepared Montessori environment can feel overwhelming for some children, resembling a tactile and auditory jungle. While this stimulation supports learning for most children, it can sometimes hinder engagement for those with heightened sensitivity.
“My daughter cried every morning for six weeks. Too many objects, too many children, too many interactions. Even the planned silence and slow movements weren’t enough to comfort her,” shares Emma R., whose daughter is now receiving support from a psychologist for sensory hypersensitivity.
Developmental psychologist Elsa Durand notes that approximately 15% of children in Montessori preschools between 2022 and 2024 exhibited signs of sensory overload. This rate increases to 24% among older children, who often face more challenges due to delayed socialization and increased isolation.
The lack of traditional educational benchmarks
Parents accustomed to traditional education systems often expect early, measurable progress in reading, writing, and arithmetic. The Montessori approach, which emphasizes hands-on learning and follows the child’s natural rhythm, can blur these milestones—especially for first-time parents.
“At three, he could do multiplication tables, but by five, he refused all activities. He felt useless because he couldn’t read like his cousins,” recalls Michel B., father of a boy enrolled in Montessori since TPS.
A 2024 report from the Early Childhood Observatory highlights that 31% of children with first-time parents struggle when parental expectations are too directive. This pressure can lead to refusal, frustration, and silent withdrawal from learning activities.
Agitation, isolation and conflict: signs to recognize
Laetitia F. also notes that behavioral issues are a common concern. Some classrooms witness conflicts, aggressive interactions, or prolonged periods of isolation among students.
An internal monitoring report compiled between 2022 and 2025 across five Montessori schools in Île-de-France documented several cases specifically involving first-born children, highlighting the behavioral challenges they face during the transition.
| Age | Main symptom | Time to appear | Observed duration |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 years | Tantrums upon arrival | 5 days | 2 months |
| 4 years | Excessive agitation / biting | 2 weeks | 3 months |
| 5 years | Voluntary isolation, refusal of activities | 1 month | variable |
A reality that is not very visible in the following siblings
“When my second child started school, he was already familiar with the Montessori materials through his older sister. He understood the rules. Why didn’t the first one learn as fast? She was simply the pioneer,” explains Léa T., mother of three.
Educators confirm this pattern, noting that younger siblings, who observe and imitate daily routines, grasp the principles of autonomy and structure in the Montessori environment more efficiently than first-born children.
Possible adjustments, but vigilance necessary
Some Montessori schools are now adopting progressive strategies to better support first-born children during their transition:
- Enhanced parent-educator interviews before classroom entry
- Extended observation periods for first-time students
- Development of refined sensory spaces to accommodate sensitive children
- Ongoing educator training in managing sensory hypersensitivity
These initiatives have been shown to significantly reduce adjustment crises during the first six months.
“The real test comes after one trimester. First children aren’t failing—they simply lack a precedent. Our role is to create that foundation with them,” explains Laetitia F.
FAQ’s
What are common challenges first children face in Montessori schools?
First children often experience adjustment difficulties, sensory overload, behavioral issues, and frustration as they adapt to the Montessori approach.
Why do first-born children struggle more than younger siblings?
First children are pioneers in the Montessori environment, with no previous example to follow. Younger siblings adapt faster by observing and imitating older children.
How does the Montessori method affect first child learning?
Montessori emphasizes autonomy, hands-on learning, and self-paced progress, which may conflict with parents’ expectations for early reading, writing, and math milestones.
How can parents support their first child in a Montessori classroom?
Parents can support their child by observing without over-directing, encouraging independence at home, and maintaining open communication with educators.
What behavioral issues are most common among first children?
Some first children may show withdrawal, frustration, aggression, or refusal to participate, often due to adjustment challenges or high parental expectations.
How do sensory sensitivities impact first children in Montessori schools?
Children with sensory hypersensitivity may feel overwhelmed by rich classroom environments, leading to emotional imbalance, crying, or difficulty engaging in activities.
What strategies do Montessori schools use to help first children adapt?
Schools implement enhanced parent-educator interviews, extended observation periods, refined sensory spaces, and specialized staff training to ease the transition.
Conclusion
First children face unique challenges in Montessori classrooms, from adjustment struggles and behavioral issues to sensory sensitivities and parental expectation pressures. As pioneers in the learning environment, they often navigate these experiences without a prior example to follow.
